Not only is social media serious business…it’s dangerous business. Hazardous to your health. People who handle kryptonite and other serious chemicals have got nothing on those who use social media for business. We dodge danger at every turn.
A friend of mine, who is a social media manager as of this past February, DM’d me (that’s sent me a private message through Twitter) the other day that she was starting to experience wrist pain from tweeting so much from her phone. My friend has no idea that this is only the beginning of the most treacherous career of her life.
Did I just hear you laugh? This is no laughing matter. People have died struggling to find the right hashtag during a medical emergency instead of calling for help.
Consider this scenario: you post a status update to your Facebook profile…except the previous user didn’t log out. That status could tear a family asunder.
To say nothing of the dangers of confusing an @ reply with a DM…although, you could just ask Anthony Weiner.
Here is a list of possible afflictions that could befall you that my friend Dr. Jason (who isn’t a doctor but plays one on TV) made up on the spot:
- TRTP (Tweet Related Thumb Paralysis), caused by posting from one’s mobile device
- 2RRETS, an abbreviated form of Tourette’s caused by an excess of character-restricted communication
- Both MAD (Multiple Account Disorder) and Premature Communication can result in these kinds of comments about Detroit driving from a Chrysler employee
- Narcissolipsism, the idea that yours is the only opinion worth broadcasting on the internet and that the moment you stop talking about how great you are, you cease to exist. The early stages involve livejournals and blogger accounts, but advanced cases include vloggers, celebrity Tweeters and Spencer Pratt
- PTDSD (Post Traumatic Denial of Service Disorder), when people refuse to abandon obsolete and unpopular methods of social media
- Abbrevatosis, the inappropriate overusage of acronyms coupled with the astonishment that not everyone knows what NOAM, LFMF and TSS means.
Do you use social media? What diseases and deadly ills are you bravely soldiering on through? And more importantly, what treatments have you found? This rash is just NOT going away.
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